Honored to help you
I wanted to share this email I received the other day from a reader of the 5Ls. I received their permission to post this as they know our stories can help others heal. I always hope that what I do, the book, my talks, my time will help make a difference in peoples lives. This email touched me in my soul and as you read it remember you are not alone in your struggles and together we can get through them.
Hi Shawn,
My name is…... My husband brought your book home from work a while ago. And I finally read it.
He works as an officer with the… Police, and he shared with me the inspiration you have given him. We’ve been married for 18 years now, and through that time, he went to war 3 (and a half) times, 15 months in Iraq and two 12 month tours in Afghanistan - he doesn’t the count 7 month stint in Kuwait as an actual deployment, although I disagree.
We have both been through hell and back. And as we both struggle with the life long effects of PTSD, we occasionally find ourselves in cyclical hell, as life can trigger the trauma all over again - so we both struggle to stay out of the deep pits of shame, regret and sorrow that comes along with healing trauma.
As I read your book, I realized I followed the framework of your Five L’s without even realizing it, as I supported him through his back and forth war days, and the years of healing following. Sadly, I somehow lost myself while fulfilling his needs. Then the pandemic hit, forced me into isolation and I was forced to admit, address and process my own trauma as a child sexual abuse survivor, at the hands of my very own father. It’s been a difficult few years.
I just want to say thank you for sharing your perspective and providing a pathway to valuing myself again. And for a framework for my husband to follow as he now supports me through my healing journey. Your words have helped me through what I hope to be the end of negativity after a very difficult journey through life this far, and as I faced the challenge of EMDR therapy. I’m starting to get my own happiness back.
Your book was effortless and put common sense into words and structure.
You have encouraged me to recommit to and reinvest in myself. After many, many school transfers, and continuously sacrificing my education through child bearing and child rearing, 3 PCS moves, the aftermath of the Ft Hood Shooting, and leaving the life of structure and purpose the Army provided me as an Army Wife. I had semi-permanently paused my own personal educational and career goals after he ETS’d from the Army and we returned back home to Arizona to figure out the civilian world. But with all 5 children finally in school, (and the increased financial stability the VA provides our family after the passing of the PACT Act) this is now my opportunity to find myself again and I’m heading back to school at the beginning of the year to finish my Bachelors in Psychology, study for the LSATs and then head to Law School. Your book helped guide me back to my purpose.
But I wanted to take a moment to personally say Thank You. You have made a difference in my life and provided me a positive framework for healing and moving forward.
Warmest Regards,
